


the art of asking your frenemy on a date

by themadtilde



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 3 + 1, Canon Divergence, Cute, First Date, First Kiss, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pining, asking on dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 16:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6335734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themadtilde/pseuds/themadtilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well, how would you have done it? If you were going to ask someone out on your first date. What would Simon Lewis do to make the person you’re frenemies with, agree to go on a date with you?”<br/>“I would do it like this. Raphael Santiago, would you like to go to the movies with me?”<br/>“That wa - what?”</p><p>or: Three times Raphael tried to ask Simon on a date, and one time Simon asked him instead.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the art of asking your frenemy on a date

**Author's Note:**

> Heeey :)
> 
> I'd like to point out that I have mixed American and British English here, as English is not my native language.
> 
> This doesn't really have a timeline and I'm not sure if it's a mix between the books and the show, but whatever.
> 
> Unbeta'd, sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> I do not own the characters.
> 
>  
> 
> (Rambling. You can skip to the story if you'd like.)  
> i just watched brokeback mountain kiss scene on youtube. And of course i got more suggestions of gay kisses in the videos below, and i watched ... all ... of ... them ... with ... earphones ... and idk what to do bc it was so incredibly hot and im not the one who gets turned on by that in a sexual way, its just SO FREAKING hot and i can't like do anything about it.
> 
> now i've spilt my sexual interests here. Damnit i need to go to sleep.

**1**

“Fledgling.”

“I really wish you would stop calling me that.” Simon crossed his arms and scowled. Raphael glared right back.

“It’s simple a statement of your current condition,” he snapped. Simon stiffened and prepared to snap something in return, when Raphael softened a little.

“Anyways, _Simon_ ,” he stressed Simon’s name and said boy rolled his eyes. “I was going to ask if you were hungry.”

Simon raised his eyebrows. “You were going to _ask_ me something?”

Raphael shrugged. “I usually do that.”

“No you don’t. You say: ‘Simon, you need to eat. Simon, you need to be with your own kind. Lewis, come over here and help me.’ You just tell me to do something,” Simon told him. Raphael pursed his lips.

“Well, I’m asking you now,” he said. “Are you hungry or not?”

Simon blinked before answering. “Yeah, a bit,” he admitted. “I have a few bottles in the fridge, so …”

“No. Let’s go out and eat,” said Raphael, pushing past Simon.

Simon’s eyes widened.

“Eat … like, from _humans_?” he gasped. “Raphael, no way …”

“Calm down,” Raphael huffed. “Dios, you are one nervy vampire. I was going to suggest that we go to an abottair and see if we can fetch some animal blood.”

Simon hesitated. He was going to meet up with Clary later, and he did after all have blood in the fridge. But also, Raphael rarely _asked_ him to do something, and the vampire had stayed locked inside his room for the entire day. He looked like he needed to go outside.

“Well, fine,” said Simon. “Let’s go then.”

 

 

**2**

“Are these … _vampires?_ ” Simon whispered as he crouched next to a dead body. Raphael stood behind him, wearing a frown.

“Yeah,” he said, while examining another vampire. “They got into a fight and this one …” he poked the body closest to him with his foot, “killed the other one.” He pointed at the body before Simon. It was a woman, with long black hair. Simon frowned.

“And her partner came just in time to see it and of course, he killed this dude.”

“Shouldn’t we hunt the surviving vampire down?”

Raphael shrugged. “Don’t see the need to do it. He’s probably long gone already.”

Simon nodded slowly and stood up. They were in an abandonded warehouse and despite the other vampire’s warnings about the blood there, Raphael wore a jacket way too fancy for a murder investigation. Even his hair looked good.

“I think we’re done here,” Raphael concluded.

“What? We’re not even going to get rid of the bodies?” Simon gaped. Raphael shook his head.

“I’ve already called for Lily and Elliott to fix this.”

“Then why did you even have to come here?”

“Cause I’m the clan leader,” said Raphael simply. “They can’t do anything without my permission.”

“And why did I have to come?” Simon questioned as they left the bulding behind them and entered the night of New York.

Raphael bit his lip.

“I needed someone with me, in case there would be a fight,” he said without looking at Simon. Simon himself wasn’t convinced, but didn’t push the subject.

“Where are we going now?” Raphael asked suddenly. Startled, Simon gave him a suprised look.

“What are you talking about? We’re going back to the hotel, right?”

Raphael looked disgruntled.

“You don’t want to go somewhere else? We could visit the park,” he offered. “It should be empty by now.”

Simon gave him a weird look.

“Raphael, it’s half past two in the morning. We’ve just spent three hours searching through a trashed warehouse and I’ve seen two dead people. Vampires, but still.”

Raphael raised one thin eyebrow. “So?”

Simon goggled at him. “ _So_? I’m tired like shit, maybe?”

Raphael held up his hands. “No need to cuss,” he scowled. “I simply asked if you wanted to visit the park.”

Simon immediately felt guilty. “Sorry,” he muttered. “I’m just really tired, okay?”

Raphael shrugged next to him.

“Whatever,” he said, suddenly sounding cold and distant.

 

**3**

“Fledgl - Simon.” Raphael cleared his throat. Simon looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“What?” he said curiously, putting down his Nintendo. (Raphael loathed that thing, ignoring Simon’s attempts to make him play Legend of Zelda. Though Simon was convinced that Raphael secretly was a game nerd; you simply cannot be fifteen years old, a boy and not like any sort of technical game.)

Raphael hesitated in the doorframe, something he never had done before. Uusually, he simply strode inside as if he owned the place. Well, did sort of do it, but one’s personal room should at least have the privacy of knocking.

“I … was wondering … what you were going to do on Friday,” said Raphael slowly. Simon raised his eyebrows.

“This Friday?”

Raphael tilted his head. “Friday as in three days, yes.”

Simon frowned. “Uh, I don’t know,” he said. “I was going to pick up a few more bottles of blood, and maybe go visit Clary … but she’s probably busy snogging Jace so I think I’ll pass on that.” He shook his head. “Nothing, I assume then.” Simon shrugged. “Why?”

Raphael took a step inside the room. He didn’t exactly look at Simon - just stared at a point above Simon’s head.

“I … I …. er …”

You could almost bottle Simon’s confusion and drink it for lunch.  He stared puzzled at the younger boy (but older vampire). Raphael had never looked like this. He looked … nervous.

“Are you seriously stuttering?” Simon grinned slyly. “I’ve never heard you do that before. Must be something important.”

Raphael tensed, and withdrew back to the doorframe. Suddenly, Simon regretted mocking him.

“It was nothing,” said Raphael stiffly. “I didn’t mean it. Forget about it.” The vampire vanished before Simon could say anything.

Simon stared at the empty spot where he had been.

“Uh … okay …?” he said to no one else, before picking up his Nintendo and resuming the game.

 

**+1**

Simon was a bit nervous to enter Raphael’s room. After all, you never knew what to except - and that applied to both Raphael and the room itself. Simon wasn’t sure how Raphael had decorated his room. Simon himself didn’t want to make himself to feel at home too much, and had simply brought some clothes, his Nintendo and a picture of Rebecca and his mother. Did Raphael have any photos left of his family? he wondered.

Then there was Raphael himself. You never knew exactly what to expect from the sullen vampire. One second he can be be threathening your life, only to suddenly turn friendly and even helpful. Then you said the wrong thing - the slightest word to piss him off - and he retreated back into his shell.

 

It had been even worse the past two days. Raphael had barely left his room since the awkward and still confusing incident with Simon. Simon had tried asking the other vampires, but they either didn’t know or just refused to tell him. He had even asked Lily, who had given him a huge, cryptic grin and then pretended to zip her lips. Which meant that whatever it was, it was huge but not serious.

 

“Are you going to stand outside my door and admire the wood, or are you going to do something?”

Simon jumped, not having noticed that Raphael had slammed the door open. The other boy stood there, as elegant as ever in fancy jackets and jeans. Yet, he looked tired and sour as he glared at Simon.

“Er …” Simon scratched his neck awkwardly. “Sorry. I just …” he trailed off.

Raphael raised his eyebrows.

Simon sighed.

“Can I come in?” he asked, trying to look over Raphael’s shoulder.

“No,” said Raphael, not moving an inch.

“Great,” Simon said and pushed past him. He was slightly, slightly worried he was turning into a mini-Raphael, but he excused himself with the excuse of this matter being too important.

Raphael sighed and closed the door behind him.

“Fine. What is it?” he asked sulkily. Simon didn’t answer at first; he was busy admiring Raphael’s room. It had grey walls and was simple decorated. There was only one bed, a desk that was almost empty, a walk-in closet (probably for all his jackets), and two chairs. There was also a black mat on the floor.

Everything went in shades of black, grey and a burgundy red colour. Which honestly fitted Raphael.

Said vampire now crossed his arms and leant against the wall. Simon suddenly remembered that he had asked a question, and decided to go for it.

“Why are you acting so strange?” he blurted out.

Raphael looked at him with a expressionless face.

“What do you mean.”

Simon raked a hand through his hair. “You know, not leaving your room, and … sulking, and what does Lily know that I don’t? Why are you being so cryptic? Why is _everyone_ being so cryptic?” He flailed his arms to emphasize his words.

Raphael’s eyes narrowed. “Lily’s said anything?” he demanded. Simon glowered at him.

“No, she hasn’t. And that’s why I’m asking you! What is going on here?”

“Nothing!” Raphael suddenly roared. “Nothing’s going on!”

“Bullshit!” Simon yelled back. “You’re all acting strange, and I want to know why!”

Raphael pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I … am not in the right mood for this,” he said sourly. Simon scoffed.

“You’re never in the mood for this. Just tell me what’s up, and we can move on.”

He hesitated, before tilting his head a little. The puppy eyes would most definitely not work on Raphael, but maybe he could soften him up a little.

“Please?”

Raphael stared at him for what felt like ages, and Simon could see that he was battling with himself inside, deciding whether to tell Simon or not.

“I want to spend some time with you.”

Simon, who had expected something entirely else (“I have vampire cancer.” “Turns out I have a price on my head, so I’m not leaving the hotel.” “I’ve suffered insomnia for the past three weeks and seems like I’m compensating for it now.”) was stunned.

Raphael studied him, black eyes intense, for a good moment before Simon blurted out:

“What?”

Raphael looked extremely displeased to having to repeat his line.

“I want to spend time with you. Keep your company _._ Or _hang out_ , as you teens put it today.”

Simon goggled at him. “You’re … asking me out?”

Raphael gave a humorless laugh. It sounded bitter.

“I’ve been trying to ask you out for the last couple of weeks, but thanks for noticing,” he said dryly.

Simon’s jaw dropped. “What? How many times have done that?”

“Well, let’s see.” Raphael left the wall and started circling Simon, who followed him with his eyes.

“Three times I think. First was a few days ago. When I asked if you wanted to go out and get some blood.”

“That was a …?”

“And then, I wanted you to come with me to the warehouse and inspect the bodies. Usually, I would’ve brought Lily or someone more experienced. But I chose you.

And then I asked if you wanted to go to the park, but you declined. Wait, that makes it four times. But it doesn’t matter. It was like two birds with one stone.

And quite recently, I tried to ask you out on Friday. But I … backed out.”

Simon hadn’t even thought of this as invitations to dates, or any sort of indication to personal interest.

“Why did you back out?” he asked stupidly. Raphael gave him a wry look.

“I don’t know,” he said dryly. “Maybe because you started making fun of me.”

Simon felt a blush creeping up his neck. “I … that was … damn. I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly. Raphael dismissed it by waving his hand.

“Not your fault,” he said easily. “You couldn’t have understood I was meaning to ask you out. But, to be honest, I don’t understand how you could’ve missed it. I thought I was quite clear in what I wanted -”

Simon gaped at him.

“How I could’ve missed it? You wonder why I missed it? Have you even thought about the circumstances when you asked me out?”

Raphael furrowed his brow.

“No. Why?”

“Why?” Simon flailed his arms. “Well firstly, you asked if I wanted to go and drink some blood. Not exactly what normal people suggest when they want to hang out with someone. And I thought you too needed blood, since that is literally our only way of surviving.”

Raphael scoffed at that, but Simon continued.

“Secondly, a trashed warehouse where two corpses are lying in the middle of the night isn’t exactly what one considers as a ‘date’. That’s pretty far from it, actually. And you don’t ask someone on a date in the middle of the night, after you’ve inspected two dead bodies and gotten blood under your shoes.”

Raphael glowered at him. “And you didn’t think it was anything suspicious about me asking what you were doing on Friday?”

“You’ve never showed any interest in me, Raphael! I thought you hated me! Even the thought of that being a romantic approach of that would never have crossed my mind!”

Yeah, okay, that was a lie. The thought had hit Simon, but not as anything serious. He had simply dismissed it, thinking it was way too unbelivable.

“Well, how would you have done it?” Raphael demanded. “If you were going to ask someone out on your first date. What would Simon Lewis do to make the person you’re frenemies with, agree to go on a date with you?”

Raphael stopped in front of Simon, eyes glowing intinsively. Simon met his look, determined.

“I would do it like this,” he said, crossing his arms.

“Raphael Santiago, would you like to go to the movies with me?”

Raphael moved to say something, before his mouth opened and he was clearly taken aback.

“That wa - what?”

“Would _you_ ,” Simon emphasized, “go to the _movies_ , with _me_? Like normal people do on their first date? We could even sneak in some blood in Coke-bottles, if you want.” He shrugged and grinned at Raphael’s astounded expression.

“Daylighter, are you being serious about this? Because if not, I swear to the Angel …”

“Okay, tone down the life threaths a little, and we can go on a date. If you’d like.”

“I …” Raphael gaped for yet another moment, before composing himself. “Okay. Sounds good.”

Simon smirked at him. “Wasn’t that hard, was it?” he said smugly.

Raphael glared at him. “Shut up,” he muttered and Simon laughed.

“As you wish. What movie are we watching?”

 

* * *

**EXTRA**

They had watched a movie called Dark Shadows. As expected, Raphael loathed it. And he loathed even more the vampire there; Barnabas Something-In-Last-Name, portrayed by the famous Johnny Depp. They had actually managed to bring blood bottles disguised as Coke, and Raphael had simply sat there, sipping on his blood and casually hated his surroundings. 

The only thing he liked was that Simon's hand rested on the armrests close to Raphael's own hand, and that he leant towards Raphael meaning that they would brush shoulders if Raphael too moved a little.

Simon's huge, nerdy eyes had been glued to the screen, and Raphael found it more entertaining to watch the movie reflect in his brown eyes. It was actually kinda cute, that he got so eager for a movie.

They walked home from the cinema slowly, both of them unsure of what to say. Raphael wondered; should he make a move? Hold hands? Maybe even kiss him?

He thought about Magnus and Alec. Magnus, who had been pining and been heartbroken over so many during his years alive, only to find Alec later. Would Raphael, too, feel that way about Simon? Would they last forever, or would their immortal relationship crumble?

However, he pondered about this for too long, because Simon kissed him first. And when they parted, slightly out of breath, Raphael once again thought of Magnus and his experiences with love, and decided to jump.

"Simon Lewis, will you be my boyfriend?" Raphael declared, head high and eyes wide and earnest. Simon's eyes widened, before he smirked.

"Gotten better, I see."

"Shut up," Raphael huffed. "I'm practising here." Simon laughed.

"You're doing it well," he assured him.

Raphael raised his eyebrows. Simon grinned and grabbed his hand. Despite their cold, lifeless veins, Raphael felt a heat rush through his body.

"I would very much like to be your boyfriend, Raphael. Thank you for asking."

 

**the end**

**fin**

**slut (** no, not slut like in 'bitch' or 'whore'. slut means 'end' in swedish. yeah. weird i know. **)**

**Author's Note:**

> Take half a second to press on one button and leave a kudos? Like, on fanfiction.net, you have to WRITE something in the review, but it's easier here where you can simply click on a button and DONE.
> 
> Tack för att du läste min hemska historia.
> 
> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Like my writing? Check out my other Saphael and Malec-fics! All of them are G or T-rated, completed and seemingly appreciated.


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